Today’s guest post is from Glenn. Some of you may have seen this before. I wish I could claim authorship, but no – it belongs to the impressive work of Anonymous. I came across this a few years ago when I was collecting material for my dissertation on Mormon Humor (which I never finished, by the way). It’s not uniquely “Mormon” in its message or application, but I love the way it critiques the traditional “Footprints In The Sand” poem, which has always left me with that uncomfortable feeling that I should have a little more sand between my toes.
This version of the poem is essentially what you would find if you googled “Buttprints in the Sand” but I did change a few of the lines to make it say a little more what I wanted it to say ( I don’t think that Anonymous will mind). And I have it on good authority that Hawkgrrrl will fork out a crisp $5 bill to the first person who uses this in sacrament meeting (but you are going to have to provide proof). Enjoy!
Butt-prints In The Sand
One night I had a wondrous dream.
One set of footprints there was seen.
The footprints of my precious Lord,
But mine were not along the shore.
And then the strangest print appeared.
I asked the Lord,” What have we here?”
This print is large and round and neat.
“But Lord, it’s much too big for feet.”
“My child,” He said in somber tones,
“For miles I carried you alone.
I challenged you to walk in faith,
But you refused and gained no strength.”
“You laid quite still. You would not grow,
This walk is not for me, you know.
So I got tired. I got fed up.
And there I dropped you on your butt.”
“Because in life, there comes a time,
When one must walk, and one must climb,
and one must rise and take a stand;
Or leave his butt-prints in the sand.”
That was alright. I like it, much more than the original.
ROFL love it.
This version has the resonance of deity!
Awesome!! Thanks for sharing that.
Oh my! That just made my day!
Can I get this framed at Deseret Book?
Oh, and I will see if I can work it into a Sacrament Meeting talk. Will HG fork out $5 to everyone who uses it – or just the first person?
I’m thinking it will have to be first person proven rather than every person ever. Pretty soon, you’ll have one of the 12 using it in GC, and then all bets are off!
Alrighty then, bets are on as to which apostle uses this first. Me, I’d bet on Packer, but I don’t think he’ll make it long enough…
I’d use it in a sacrament talk … if they ever asked me to speak…hmmm, Fast and Testimony meeting is coming up…
Oh, Heber, please, NOT in F&T Mtg!!! 😀
LOL–however, is it true? Did the Savior ever say anything to suggest He might do or say something like that?
Can the post author, or anyone else find a scripture to support it?
I think something a lot like that happened to Jesus, actually. His response was to cry out “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
The chuckle was good for my soul today. I think it should be used in primary. The kids would really appreciate the word butt-print.
If kidding is put aside, the last verse does resonate a certain truth.
Thanks all. Always happy to put a smile on anyone’s face.
Jared, I don’t think I can really help you with the scriptural reference, but to me it resonates very nicely with the D&C 122 message of “all these things shall be for thy experience” — I think that the closest thing to “dropping us on our butts” that God/Jesus might ever possibly do would be to wipe our memories of any pre-mortal spirit life and drop us into a world full of death, abuse, and sin (and lots of beauty, as well).
You know this will get taught to my high priests’ group tomorrow. Not exactly a Sacrament Talk, but does it count for the Hawkgrrl challenge?
Lesson went very, very well, just FYI.
haha. this is great! I’m giving a talk on sunday in sacrament, but I do not have the guts to use this!
“You can’t leave footprints in the sands of time if you’re sitting on your butt. And who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of time?”