A translation. Of an ancient record. Written by the hand of its author. [For an explanatory introduction to the Gospel of Mammon, click thou on the profile of the author: Lord of Mammon.]
1. And now it came to pass that on the Sabbath the Lord of Mammon did go up towards the temple. And he did look upon all the money changers who were selling their goods in the region roundabout, and he was well pleased.
2. And now behold, when the money changers saw the Lord of Mammon approaching, they were sore afraid. For they supposed he was that Jesus of Nazareth, who had cast them out of the temple an fortnight earlier. For verily, the Lord of Mammon did appear in the image of that Jesus of Nazareth, only being dressed in much finer apparel and wearing much jewelry.
3. And behold, when the Lord of Mammon saw the money changers, that they were afraid, he stretched forth his gilded hand, saying, “Fear not, for I bring thee good tidings of great joy, if thou payest me that which I shall require of thee.”
4. And behold, the money changers were astonished. And one of them said to another, “Is not this that Jesus of Nazareth, who did smite mine backside an fortnight ago, and overturn mine Nacho stand?”  And behold, the other answereth, crying with a loud voice, saying, “Nay, but verily, that be the Lord of Mammon! And he cometh to bring us great reward!”
5. And the one asketh, “Verily?” And the other answereth, “Yea, verily”.
6. And it came to pass that the money changers did rejoice, crying aloud with one voice, saying, “Glory and praise be to the Lord of Mammon! Our salvation hath come!” And they did bid the Lord of Mammon that he sit with them. And they did bring him fine food and drink. And they did put upon his fingers rings of platinum and titanium.  And they did remove his fine leather sandals and did massage his feet.
7. And the Lord of Mammon saith unto them, “Men and brethren, why art thou selling thine goods here, across the way from the temple, and not within the temple walls, or on the temple grounds?”
9. And the money changers did answer aloud with one voice, saying, “Behold, that Jesus of Nazareth, he did smite us with a great smiting , and did cast us out of the temple. For verily, he did rebuke us for making his Father’s house a den of thieves.”
10. And the Lord of Mammon saith unto them, “Verily?” And the money changers answered aloud with one voice, saying, “Yea, verily.”
11. And the Lord of Mammon was wroth, and he did breathe out threatenings and cursings against that one called Jesus of Nazareth, and did mock him for being without a home, and without an earthly occupation, and that he was without purse or scrip.
12. And the money changers saith unto the Lord of Mammon, “Tell us, pray thee, what ought we to do? For behold, every day, thousands of people do flock to the temple, and walk its grounds, for verily, the temple is beautiful to behold. And verily, we have been cast outside the temple walls, and are here without a fine habitation to display our goods for sale. For behold, the habitation wherein we now display our goods groweth old. And behold, the money of those thousands who do visit the temple grounds each day doth slip through our fingers, even as it were a dream.”
13. And the Lord of Mammon looked upon the money changers and had compassion upon them, and saith unto them, “What desirest thou?”
14. And the money changers answered aloud with one voice, crying, “Build us a great and spacious building  with a great marketplace where we can display our fine linens, and our fine goods, and that hath mansions for the richest among us to dwell in! That all who visit the temple and its grounds may spend their money in our great marketplace, and fulfill the measure of their creation in so doing, and find joy therein, or at least die trying!”
15. And the Lord of Mammon saith: “Yea, verily, if thou hast faith in Mammon even as a mustard seed, it shall be done as thou hast said.” And the money changers did rejoice with a great rejoicing. 
16. But behold, he who was called Judas, who would betray Jesus of Nazareth, and who did keep the purse for both Jesus and the Lord of Mammon, that same Judas did say unto the Lord of Mammon, “But sir, where shall we find the money to build the great and spacious building of which thou speakest?”
17. And the Lord of Mammon answered saying, “O Judas, ye of little faith. Have not rich widowers bequeathed unto us profitable businesses that we inherited when their spirits departed this mortal world?” And Judas saith unto him, “Yea, Lord”.
18. And the Lord of Mammon saith unto Judas, “Behold, bring me the money that hath been got from those businesses, and borrow much more from those who charge usury, and we shall have plenty to build the great and spacious building that the money changers seek. Yea, even that there not be room enough to receive it.”
19. And now behold, a certain man who did care for the poor and needy did say unto the Lord of Mammon, “Kind sir, I perceive that thou hast much money, even more than is sufficient for thy needs, yea, and for the needs of all those who inhabit the land.” And the Lord of Mammon saith unto him, “Yea, verily! Thou mayest say that again!”
20. And the man saith unto the Lord of Mammon, “Behold, kind sir, didst not thou hear what Jesus of Nazareth hath said? Didst not thou hear him say:
“When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory:
21. And behold, the man who careth for the poor saith unto the Lord of Mammon, “Behold, kind sir, would not the money thou spendest upon the great and spacious building be better spent caring for the least of these of which Jesus spoke?”
22. And behold, the Lord of Mammon was wroth, but he did catch himself, and did respond with a soft voice, that did seem to have authority, saying, “My dear brother, this great marketplace, and these mansions for the rich, they are needed to protect the sanctity of the temple which lieth across the way. Wouldst thou not that we care for the temple?”
23. And behold, the man who careth for the poor saith to the Lord of Mammon, “But sir, we could take the money that thou doth receive from thine many profitable businesses, and that which thou borrowest, and build up homes for the poor, and clothe them, and feed them, and pay doctors to care for them.”
23. And behold, the money changers did laugh, and mock the man to scorn, crying aloud with one voice, saying, “Lo, here is a man who careth not for the temple, for he doth want to spend the money helping the poor, and doth not want to increase the beauty of the land nearest the temple! And tell us, pray thee,  which is more important? The temple, in which God doth dwell, or the poor, in whom God doth not dwell?” Yea, and all the money changers laughed with a great laughing.
24. And behold, the man who cared for the poor went away sorrowing, and sought after Jesus of Nazareth.
25. And now it came to pass that all was done as the money changers had asked the Lord of Mammon. For behold, more than one hundred thousand thousands of talents were spent to build a great and spacious building. And it held a great marketplace therein, where the money changers sold fine linens, and corsets, and bonnets, and crisping pins, and wimples, and dimples . And spacious mansions for the rich to dwell in.
26. And behold, a bridge did stretch forth over the way that divideth the temple grounds from the great and spacious building, that the temple and the great and spacious building might not be divided, but that the twain might be made one. That those who did visit the temple grounds might more easily spend their money in the great marketplace.
27. And behold, the money changers  did rejoice with a great rejoicing, and did pay the Lord of Mammon their tithes and offerings. Which thing they did suppose to be quite a bargain, getting to keep 90% of the profit and all.
28. And behold, when the poor entered the great and spacious building, to look for a place to sleep, or food to eat, or clothes to wear, they did discover that they did not have money enough to make purchase there, for the homes and clothes and goods therein were exceedingly costly. For this was not the Kingdom of God, but the Kingdom of Mammon.
Footnotes: Anti-Mammons have challenged the historicity of the Gospel of Mammon because of its reference to a “Nacho stand”. However, scholars funded by Mammon, Inc. (who are really, really smart and know way more about this stuff than you do) have conclusively resolved this superficial attack by determining that the words “Nacho stand”: (a) were genuine Hebrew words that had the same meaning anciently as they do today; or (b) were genuine Hebrew words that were used anciently to describe something different from what those words are used to describe today; or (c) were not Hebrew words at all but rather are modern words used by the modern translator to identify a genuine Hebrew thing that was known by a now unknown Hebrew name; or (d) have absolutely no linguistic or historical grounding in fact, time, space, or reality, but rather, were inserted into the text to test the faith of the faithful. Take your pick.  Anti-Mammons likewise challenge the historicity of the Gospel of Mammon because of its reference to “platinum” and “titanium”, because those metals were not discovered or used by man at the time this book is purported to have been authored (i.e., 30-33 C.E.). However, this superficial attack is easily disarmed with numerous plausible possibilities. See Footnote 1.  “[S]mite us with a great smiting” is an obvious Hebraism that evidences the historical authenticity of the Gospel of Mammon. It is impossible that someone who was familiar with the Bible could have mimicked Biblical-sounding language to dupe readers into thinking the book was of an ancient Hebrew origin.  This reference to the “great and spacious building” evidences the authentic, ancient Hebrew origin of the Gospel of Mammon because that same term is used in the Book of Mormon, another authentic ancient scripture authored by people of Hebrew origin.  “[R]ejoice with a great rejoicing” is another total Hebraism. Again, does anyone really think someone familiar with the Bible could have tried to fool us into thinking this book was scripture by using Biblical language like this? I don’t think so.  Anti-Mammons have challenged the historicity of the Gospel of Mammon by pointing to phrases like “pray thee” as obvious evidence of imposture, as there would be no reason for the translator, living in the 21st Century, to have used 17th Century colloquial English in translating the record. However, scholars funded by Mammon, Inc. have once again easily and creatively dismissed this argument. See Footnote 1.  Anti-Mammons have challenged the historicity of the Gospel of Mammon by pointing to words like “corsets and bonnets” as obvious evidence of imposture, as they are anachronisms, and to words like “wimples and dimples” as they do not correspond to anything authentically Hebrew and are just plain silly. However . . . see Footnote 1.  Anti-Mammons have challenged the historicity of the Gospel of Mammon because it depicts “money changers” as being salesmen of goods, whereas in New Testament times they were actually persons who exchanged currencies. However, scholars funded by Mammon, Inc. have easily, resoundingly, and unquestionably removed all doubts here. Or at least made things so confusing you’ll give up trying to make sense of it all. See Footnote 1.