Botched Hymns

Hawkgrrrl Asides, church, Culture, curiosity, education, LDS, Mormon, mormon, Mormons, music, questioning 66 Comments

We are all familiar with this phenomenon.  You’re listening to a song you’ve heard many times, and you think you know the lyrics, but you don’t really.  And often our mistaken lyrics radically change the meaning of the song.

http://www.azirishmusic.com/lyrics.gifFor example, I remember hearing the song Blinded by the Light when I was growing up.  It seemed to be on the radio all the time.  For years, I thought the lyric was “wrecked up like a douche, you know the roller in the night.”  I had no idea what that meant.  Something to do with women in floppy hats on TV selling Massengill products I figured.  Now I know that the lyric is “racked up like a deuce, you know the roller in the night.”  So, apparently it’s about gambling, not about feminine products at all.

Or consider this cryptic line from Jimi Hendrix’s hit:  “‘Scuze me, while I kiss this guy.”  Hey, it was the 70s.  Live and let live.

And there are some songs out there that just defy decryption:  parts of Shout by the Isley Brothers and Fame by David Bowie come to mind.  I’m sure you can now find lyrics of these on line, but I defy anyone to figure it out without them.  I also think these are songs that are just partly made up as they go along.

Which brings us to hymns.  The hymns are actually written out, right in front of you.  So, how is it that people get the lyrics wrong?  There are a few varieties of botched hymn lyrics:

  • Changed hymns.  I can think of two specific examples that are sometimes sung incorrectly because they have been changed from their original words:
    • 86 How Great Thou Art. Any convert to the church will tell you that the original lyrics are “the works thy hands have made” (changed in our hymn book to “worlds thy hands have made” presumably for theological reasons) and “I hear the mighty thunder” (changed in our hymn book to “I hear the rolling thunder” presumably for poetic reasons).
    • 85 How Firm a Foundation. The lyric used to be “You who unto Jesus for refuge have fled,” but was changed in the 1985 hymn book to “Who unto the Savior for refuge have fled.”
  • Intentionally “funny” lyrics.  When I was a kid, we used to amuse ourselves by adding the phrase “in the bathtub” to the ends of the titles of hymns.  But there are also hymns that kids like to change to be funny.  There are two I can think of off the top of my head:
    • 30 Come, Come Ye Saints. Instead of “no toil nor labor fear,” kids have been known to sing “no toilet paper here,” a more fitting lyric for the pioneer trek perhaps.
    • 144 Secret Prayer. In Spanish, missionaries like to change the lyric “con el cielo comunion” (meaning communion with Heaven) to “con el suelo comunion” (meaning communion with the floor).
  • Mistakes.  Some hymns are mistakenly sung incorrectly, at times changing the meaning of the lyric.
  • 5 High on the Mountain Top (verse 2):  “For God remembers still / His promise made of old / That he on Zion’s hill / Truth’s standards would unfold.” Correction:  “Truth’s standard would unfold.”  He’s unfolding a flag, people, not a list of behavioral rules.  This seems like a telling mistake.
  • 239 Choose the Right (verse 3):  “Choose the right / in all labors you’re pursuing / Let God in Heaven be your goal.”  Correction:  “Let God and Heaven be your goal.”  Not as really significant a mistake, but it shifts the focus from the worship of deity to one’s own exaltation when sung correctly.
  • 76 God of Our Fathers, We Come Unto Thee.  The chorus says “Never! Never! Never from thee let us stray!  Ever!  Ever!  Ever to thee will we pray!”  However, I’ve heard all the Never / Ever stuff sometimes get tongue-tied and come out backwards, changing the meaning pretty radically.

So, what other deviations have you heard at church when people are singing the hymns?  Any Primary songs that have been modified by unwitting congregants?  Discuss.

Comments

comments

Comments 66

  1. Sometimes I change the lyrics of I am a child of God from “Parents kind and dear” to “Parents kind of weird”. Both fit for my family.

  2. One that I hear a lot, which falls into your third category of mistakes, is in “Choose the Right”. The second verse begins, “Choose the right, let no spirit of digression overcome you…” People constantly sing it “discretion”, radically altering the meaning.

  3. I remember one lady in our ward complaining that people were singing, “Let no spirit of discretion overcome you in the evil hour” in “Choose the Right.” Ha ha.

    When I was in primary, I thought there were Spanish words in “As I Have Loved You”: “bythisshalmenno” “by this shall men know.”

  4. Most of the changes I make to hymns and primary songs can only be whispered to my wife – and she still hits me when I share them with her. 🙂

  5. Whenever we sing “Called to Serve” I love to hear the people who say “Praises unto Him we sing” instead of “bring.” That “S” really stands out.

    I also call “I Know that My Redeemer Lives” the greedy hymn because everyone sings about “my mansions to prepare” instead of their single mansion as mentioned in the verse.

  6. Back in the 80s, imagine our surprise when the opening hymn listed in the bulletin was: “If You Could Hide a Kolob.”

  7. I always like it when the kids sing at the top of their lungs, “SCRIPTURE POWDER, keeps me safe from sin, SCRIPTURE POWDER, is the powder to win”. I just wish the song explained whether you take this winning powder before or after your workout, on a full or empty stomach, and with or without creatine.

  8. Every time “Praise to the Man” is sung I sing loud and strong:

    “Long may his blood
    Which was shed by assassins
    Stain Illinois while the Earth lauds his fame!”

    My wife always gives me a look, however I am not able to keep from singing it!

  9. I recall seeing the altered lyrics to “How Great Thou Art” in the Methodist hymnal, complete with the asterisk giving the original lyrics. I wonder if perhaps that’s a requirement of the copyright holder.

    These aren’t exactly mondegreens, but quite a few people misinterpret “The Time is Far Spent” to be a closing song, based on the first line taken out of context. Likewise, “We Thank Thee, O God for a Prophet” is not a song about the prophet. And “The Daydawn is Breaking” can be sung at any time of the day, since the millennial dawn referred to is still upcoming no matter when we sing the song.

  10. In a family home evening years ago, my teenage, guitar-playing son played “People Are Strange” by the Doors, while the rest of us sang “Now Let Us Rejoice”. I’m not musical and don’t understand why the music fits the words, but it worked. My wife says it has something to do with meter.

  11. #1 – I do that one too.

    #14 – I would so love to heard MoTab do People Are Strange mixed up with Now Let Us Rejoice. Wow.

    My sister and I used to change the words to “Saturday is a Special Day” by adding in different tasks: “We brush our teeth and go to the bathroom, so we don’t have to do it ’til Monday!”

  12. Our evening instructor in the MTC started EVERY class with “In Our Lovely Deseret” and literally bounced while “hark”ing.

    So we used different words which were, um, horrible.

    Napalm sticks to little children, all the children of the world.
    Red or yellow, black or white, ain’t they cute when they ignite.
    Napalm sticks to little children of the world.

    Spark, Spark, Spark! (It gets REALLY bad from there, so I won’t finish it.)

    It became a sort of Yankovichian mission favorite, right along with the parody of the Beach Boys’ “I Get Around” which was sung as: “She’s Big and Round”

    (I know, I’m STILL playing Karma-catch-up)

  13. What bugs me is when people sing “We are as the ARMIES of Helaman”. The actual lyrics include only one one ARMY and the “s” stands out. In response to #14 the words to Joseph Smiths First Prayer fit “Fade to Black” by Metallica. I don’t know how I came up with that, but never underestimate the power of a bored missionary going through withdraw from real music.

    I should also mention that as a former Marine I have trouble singing “Soldiers in the army there’s a bright crown in store” (We are all enlisted), I change it to “Marines in the Corps…”. Although one elderly member heard me sing it and almost boxed my ears for changing the lyrics.

  14. “I don’t know how I came up with that, but never underestimate the power of a bored missionary going through withdraw from real music.”

    Amen Morgan. To this day one of the funniest experiences of my life was when a musically inclined elder sat at the piano during a district meeting and began playing “mysterious ways” by U2, while juxtaposing the lyrics with “God Moves in a Mysterious Way” from the hymnal #285.

    “it’s alright, it’s alright, alright, he moves in a mysterious way”. do chig-a-wah ta-wah duhnit

  15. Not quite the same thing, but my family went through a phase where, if my little brother was allowed to choose the song for FHE, we sang, “We All Live in a Yellow Submarine.”

  16. #13, “My wife always gives me a look, however I am not able to keep from singing it!”

    Ever since I found out about the wording change, I do the same thing. And my wife does the same as yours. Though I get the elbow as well.

    when we sing, “A Mighty Fortress is our God” I always say to her, “OK, Davey.” And when we do a hymn like ” All Creatures of Our God and King,” I announce ” Welcome to the Protestant Hour, brought by the the Christ of Jesus Christ of latter-day Saints, The Mormons.” I get the elbow for that too.

  17. I’ve heard many a Primary child, when singing “I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints,” sing: “I know who I am, I know God’s plan, I’ll follow him in vain” (instead of in faith).

  18. When my kids were younger, one of their favorite songs was “Nephi’s Courage”. Instead of singing “Nephi was courageous, this was his reply”, I, followed quickly by all of the (male) kids, would instead sing “Nephi was courageous, and ate a big french fry”. Much hilarity ensued.

  19. I seriously wondered (as a child) what a shalmendo was. You know, a shalmendo is that thing necessary to prove you’re a disciple of Christ: “By this shalmendo, ye are my disciples …”
    __________________________

    With regards to How Firm a Foundation, I fondly recall (pre-1985) the sound of a room full of people singing together the lines: “YooHoo unto Jesus! YooHoo unto Jesus! YooHoo unto Jesus, for refuge have fled!” Most other churches have also changed the words in their recent hymnals.
    __________________________

    Regarding How Great Thou Art: it appears in every modern hymnal of any denomination exactly the same was as it appears in ours, even including the asterisked note explaining what the original words are. The words are copyrighted by Manna Music, and they guard their copyright jealously, even so far as to require that those notes are printed in every hymnal that includes the hymn. Lifting a quote from Wikipedia:

    “Their [the group of singers who popularized Stuart Hine’s version of the song] father was Vernon “Tim’ Spencer, a converted cowboy, and former member of The Sons of the Pioneers, who had founded the newly established Manna Music of Burbank, California in 1955. Spencer negotiated with Hine for the purchase of the song.

    The Manna Music editors changed “works” and “mighty” in Hine’s original translation to “worlds” and “rolling” respectively. The Manna Music version is the one widely sung in English-language churches today.”
    ___________________________________________

    If you think All Creatures of Our God and King sounds Protestant, just think of this: the music is from a German Catholic hymn (Lasst uns erfreuen sehr) that manages to be both a hymn about Easter and a song in praise of Mary at the same time. To sum up the lyrics in one phrase: “We should rejoice that Christ is resurrected, since that means that Mary doesn’t have to cry anymore!”
    ______________________

    I also have a hard time singing “Faith of Our Fathers” because it was originally an English Catholic hymn about returning England to Catholicism. I always think about the original words to the third verse when I try to sing it, and laugh:

    Faith of our fathers, Mary’s prayers
    Shall win our country back to Thee;
    And through the truth that comes from God,
    England shall then indeed be free.

  20. Left Field, I’ve seen the changed lyrics many times in non-LDS hymnals, always with the asterisk as well. As PaulS notes, the hymn is a translation and the most commonly adopted translation has those changes which are thought to make it flow better in English, and of which the translator’s family is rather proud.

    The lyric used to be “You who unto Jesus for refuge have fled, actually sounds better. In some wards kids would sing “Youhoo unto Jesus” and someone who will not be named pushed for a change to make the hymn more reverential. It also distances just a little. I prefer the old lyric.

    I’d like to have the expanded version of A Mighty Fortress.

  21. We share quite a few hymns with Protestant denominations. I joined the Church at 19, but I grew up in the Presbyterian Church. Sometimes, I get the words wrong to hymns when it’s one I grew up singing and the words are slightly different. Many of those changes are to reflect doctrine, like Presbyterians believe in the Trinity, but LDS don’t, so the hymns reflect that.

  22. Okay, think of the tune to “The Beverly Hill Billies”. . .now start singing the words to “If You Could Hie to Kolob”. . .

    We had a pretty good time with that on as missionaries.

  23. Another take on How Firm a Foundation.

    Some adult in my ward when I was growing up got tired of singing “As thy days may demand, so thy sucker shall be.” So they decided that the pronunciation of succor should be soo-sher and got a fair chunk of the congregation to go along with that.

  24. I know this doesn’t exactly fit, but… when we were kids our favorite sacrament meeting game was this: go through the hymn book and add “under the bed” to all the titles. Too many giggles, too many dirty looks from mom…

  25. In my six year stint as primary chorister, I tried in vain to get the kids to sing Book of Mormon stories with the words printed in the book: “Given _the_ land.” Instead of “Given _this_ land.” It worked fine, until they spent the week at home and their parents promptly corrected them. I finally gave up.

    As a child, I was confused with Joseph’s First Prayer. Why would God the Father and the son appear to heavenly beings? Aren’t they the heavenly beings? It was college before I read the words and realized the correct lyrics are “While appeared two heavenly beings–God the Father and the Son.”

  26. Arn’t hymns sacred texts? Who decides when it’s okay to rewrite “controversial” phrases when the originals were sung by prophets for more than a century? Two examples:

    1) Have I Done Any Good (#223) was changed in 1985 from “Only he who does something is worthy to live/the world has no use for the drone.” to “Only he who does something helps others to live/ To God each good work will be known”

    2) Up Awake Ye Defenders of Zion (#248) was written my a member of the 1st Presidency (C.W. Penrose) but was radically toned down in the recent edition. The “wrongs of Missouri” became the “trials of Missiori” and the “fate of Nauvoo” became the “courage of Nauvoo.” Even more dramatic, they eliminated the entire 3rd verse (the current 3rd is the original 4th) that begins, “Shall we bear with oppression forever? Shall we tamely submit to the foe?…”

    #12 already noted the change in “Praise to the Man.” (although I think this change is more than a century old.)

  27. My favorite “funny” change is “High on a mountian top a badger chased a squirrel…

    And in Spanish Oh how lovely was the morning (Que hermosa la manana) becomes “Oh how lovely is your sister” (Que hermosa tu hermana).

    Has anyone else heard the rumor that the Church is currently working on a new hymnbood edition? It’s been almost 25 years (!) I hope they go back to the embossed covers that (as a kid) I’d cover with a piece of paper and scribble with a crayon to make the tabernacle organ magically appear. Now THAT was great sacrament meeting entertainment.

  28. I recall a few interesting things.

    On the mission we changed the words of En el pueblo de Zion (In the town of Zion, which I think is In Our Lovely Deseret in English) to En el pueblo de Jamon (in the city of ham)

    As a child I always thought that Ere was a person in Did you think to pray?. You know Ere when you left your room this morning did you pray? And in I Am a Child of God, so my knees are grate. Kind of like grated cheese. Never understood why that would be the case.

    The primary song Follow the Prophet, in the verse about Jonah and the Whale my kids sing Swallow the Prophet.

    And last, one that isn’t exactly the same, but funny nevertheless and which Hawkgrrl might recall. A certain companionship of Sister missionaries serving on the Island of La Palma in the Canary Islands changed the lyrics of the Madonna song La Isla Bonita (The Beautiful Island, rumored to have been written about La Palma) to La Isla Maldita(The Damned Island) after a particularly rough day of tracting. I still laugh thinking about it. Although, I do not recall the Sisters’ finding it as amusing at the time, but imagine they do now.

  29. Hawkgrrl,

    The reference to a “deuce” in “Blinded by the Light” is not to gambling. A “deuce” is a marijuana reference, which explains the subsequent line, “you know the roller in the night”. A roller is a tool used to roll joints. See here: http://www.smokingwithstyle.com/roller.htm

    From the Urban Dictionary:

    “deuce: The second hit off of a new bowl or joint of marijuana.”

    See just about any Snoop Dogg song or album for verification.

    Deuce is also short for taking a #2, which offers additional comedic interpretations.

    Gotta run. In just a half hour its 4:20 my time.

  30. When my sister, our friend, and I were in Primary, we would sing “Have A Merry Christmas”, and at the end of the first verse we sang, “Let your neighbors know you swear!” We were supposed to sing the song at the ward Christmas party, but the three of us were giggling too much to sing it. I don’t know how our music leader let us live after that.

  31. #40 – another interpretation is “revved up like a Deuce” (along the lines of one’s little Deuce Coup). I maintain this one’s not settled, although your version is also intriguing. What to take a crack at “Shout”?

  32. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blinded_by_the_Light

    Springsteen wrote “Blinded by the Light” after most of the others on Greetings were finished and is also one of the few songs for which Springsteen wrote the words before arranging the music. The song itself contains many lyrical (and therefore obscure) references such as:

    * “Madman drummers bummers” – Vinnie “Mad Dog” Lopez, the first drummer in the E Street Band.
    * “Indians in the summer” – Bruce’s little league baseball team as a kid.
    * “In the dumps with the mumps” – being sick with the mumps.
    * “Boulder on my shoulder” – a “chip” on his shoulder.
    * “Some all hot, half-shot, heading for a hot spot, snapping fingers clapping his hands” – Being a “know it all kid growing up, who doesn’t really know anything.”

    The song is notable for lead vocalist Chris Thompson’s garbled enunciation, especially of the phrase “revved up like a deuce” which has led many fans to interpret it as “wrapped up like a douche”. The original Springsteen lyric is neither of the above, instead being “cut loose like a deuce”.[1] Springsteen once attributed the popularity of the Manfred Mann version partially to Thompson’s enunciation.[2]

    From the official site:

    Madman drummers bummers and Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat
    In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way into his hat
    With a boulder on my shoulder feelin’ kinda older I tripped the merry-go-round
    With this very unpleasing sneezing and wheezing the calliope crashed to the ground
    Some all-hot half-shot was headin’ for the hot spot snappin’ his fingers clappin’ his hands
    And some fleshpot mascot was tied into a lover’s knot with a whatnot in her hand
    And now young Scott with a slingshot finally found a tender spot and throws his lover in the sand
    And some bloodshot forget-me-not whispers daddy’s within earshot save the buckshot turn up the band

    And she was blinded by the light
    Cut loose like a deuce another runner in the night
    Blinded by the light
    She got down but she never got tight, but she’ll make it alright

    Some brimstone baritone anti-cyclone rolling stone preacher from the east
    He says: “Dethrone the dictaphone, hit it in its funny bone, that’s where they expect it least”
    And some new-mown chaperone was standin’ in the corner all alone watchin’ the young girls dance
    And some fresh-sown moonstone was messin’ with his frozen zone to remind him of the feeling of romance

    Yeah he was blinded by the light
    Cut loose like a deuce another runner in the night
    Blinded by the light
    He got down but she never got tight, but he’s gonna make it tonight

    Some silicone sister with her manager’s mister told me I got what it takes
    She said I’ll turn you on sonny, to something strong if you play that song with the funky break,
    And go-cart Mozart was checkin’ out the weather chart to see if it was safe to go outside
    And little Early-Pearly came in by her curly-wurly and asked me if I needed a ride,
    Oh, some hazard from Harvard was skunked on beer playin’ backyard bombardier
    Yes and Scotland Yard was trying hard, they sent a dude with a calling card,
    he said, do what you like, but don’t do it here
    Well I jumped up, turnedaround, spit in the air, fell on the ground
    Asked him which was the way back home
    He said take a right at the light, keep goin’ straight until night, and then boy, you’re on your own

    And now in Zanzibar a shootin’ star was ridin’ in a side car hummin’ a lunar tune
    Yes, and the avatar said blow the bar but first remove the cookie jar we’re gonna teach those boys to laugh too soon

    And some kidnapped handicap was complainin’ that he caught the clap from some mousetrap he bought last night,

    Well I unsnapped his skull cap and between his ears I saw
    a gap but figured he’d be all right

    He was just blinded by the light
    Cut loose like a deuce another runner in the night
    Blinded by the light
    Mama always told me not to look into the sights of the sun
    Oh but mama that’s where the fun is

    Copyright © Bruce Springsteen (ASCAP)

  33. If You Could Hie to Kolob:

    words written, “there is no end to race”

    different words, “there is no end to grace”

    —-

    (Primary Song) – Still Small Voice

    words written, “Through a still, small voice, the Spirit speaks to me, to guide me, to save me, from the evil I may see.”

    words I learned to sing, “Through a still small voice, the Spirit speaks to me, to guide me, to save me, from the evil ivory sea.” I imagined drowning in an ocean of elephant tusks.

  34. I heard a talk once where someone told a story of a child asking his mother a question right after singing “Jesus Once of Humble Birth”. He asked, “Why does Jesus want a crumbled bird?”

    Sometimes when I feel the pain of the length of “I Believe In Christ”, instead of the words, “I raise my voice in praise and joy, in grand amens my tongue employ”, I think of my own alternate lyrics for relief of boredom. “You sing it once, then repeat again, it cycles back and never ends.”

    All of you that went to missions in Japan surely know of the famous botched lyrics to “Beautiful Zion built up Above”.

    Zion, Zion; lovely zion
    Beautiful Zion;
    Zion, City of our God

    Shion, Shion, uruwashi
    Akegare no
    Shion, Kami No Machi

    substitute Shimai for Shion (“sister” as in Sister missionary)
    substitue urusai for uruwashi (loud)

    I know it’s terrible, but it was a sister missionary who dared to share this tradition with me.

  35. My somewhat verbally delayed 3 y/o son requested “that monster song” for FHE. huh? “You know, Book of Monster Stories.”

    Also, my husband grew up wondering what a “Welcome Doll” was. You know – The land who welcome doll who wanted to be free.” Why was the doll a prisoner? And why were we singing about it?

  36. You mention the changes in Stuart Hine’s English translation of the hymn How Great Thou Art. Do you know who made the changes? It was Bev Shea, when the song was introduced in Toronto. And he did it because he thought his version was easier to sing–not for theological reasons. Stuart Hine was not thrilled that someone would tamper with his work, but the song became popular so quickly he gave in.

  37. I’m amused at my father telling us that when he was little and sang “Dearest Children God is near you”, he remembered the phrase “cherish virtue” and for years thought it was “cherry’s hurt you”, and sang it that way.

  38. Today, While the Sun Shines – Last line used to read, “There is no tomorrow, but only today.”  Now it reads, “Prepare for tomorrow by working today.

  39. My 4yo son sings a change to “Praise to the Man.”  Instead of “Jesus anointed that Prophet and Seer,”  he sings “Jesus annoyed him…”  Makes me laugh every time.

  40. This is kind of like that, but I always pictured “We Thank Thee O God For a Prophet” referring the entire hymn to the prophet. “We’ve proved him in days that are past”… “Thy bounteous hand.” In reality, the first line only mentions the prophet. The rest are just other blessings the singer is thanking God for.

    1. I’m actually hoping that when the whispered new edition comes out that they’ll make We Thank Thee O God for a Prophet” less in your face! I mean, “shall surely be smitten at last” and “shall never such happiness know” are two mean phrases to end the second and third verse

  41. Last Sunday during sacrament meeting my bishop was singing with the congregation the opening hymn  “Have I done any good” # 223 when during the 2nd verse his counselor’s looked at him like someone who was losing his mind because he was singing different words than what were printed in the current hymnal.  Later in priesthood meeting our fine bishop maintained that he was merely singing the words he remembered and that somebody had changed the words on him. We all laughed as we realized those  words were changed 27 years ago and wondered how many times we each had sung that revised hymn without even realizing it until the bishop decided to sing it from “memory!” 

  42. I was leading the primary children in the song Thanks to Our Father. I finished this second verse and the teachers in the room started smiling a lot and the little boy on the front row started laughing so much that he fell on the floor. It suddenly dawned on me what I had sung – “Eyes and ears and hands and feet, clothes to wear and SHOES to eat!” Woops…

  43. “We Thank Thee, Oh God, For A Prophet” was changed musically in the newer hymnbook because, for whatever reason, no one ever sang it the way it was written (Except for MoTab…who now sing it the new way).

    I prefer the new version of “yoo hoo unto Jesus” cuz I couldn’t sing the other one without giggling. Another song that always makes me giggle is in the Messiah, “All we, like sheep, have gone astray!”. It’s my mother’s fault because she always called it “We all like sheep”. That’s because the chorus says “All we like sheep” several times until it gets to the “have gone astray” part and she said it sounded like a lonely cowboy. She didn’t elaborate at the time, I was only 12 and very puzzled. I figured it out later, lol. in subsequent years of our Stake performing the Messiah, the director left that one out because Mom couldn’t play it without giggling.

    I too, sing the wrong words to “Have I Done Any Good” all the time. Old habits die hard I guess, the new hymnbook is almost 30 years old.

    And last…”Love At Home”. My BFF has an adopted five year old whose mom was a on mulitple substances. The kid is VERY smart, but has sensory processing issues and no impluse control. He’s on medication to help him while he learns to regulate himself. His severely ADD adoptive mom is on Strattera. Her version: “There is beauty all around, when there’re drugs at home”.

    1. Oh, and I forgot about “Carry On!” . My little sister, Keri Dawn was sure that song was about her. It’s still a family joke.

  44. Then there is the joke about the cheerful, expectant mother named Hope, who, at two weeks overdue, is leading the congregation in “We Thank Thee, O God, for a Prophet”

    There is hope smiling brightly before us,
    And we know that deliv’rance is nigh.

  45. I thought it was about time that we took “Oh Happy Hour” out of the sacrament hymn.
    My daughter was so confused in Junior Primary to be singing “When Christ was on the earth, he promised he would sin”

  46. Choose the sprite, when a coke is placed before you!

    The Primary song Stand For The Right will never be the same for me, since the Primary children in our Ward started singing ‘Beetroot, beetroot and stand for the right.’

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