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  1. First and foremost, whatever process/therapy/approach works to help one get past the devastating results that addiction causes, I say go for it.  And I grant that over the last several decades, there has been no more consistent and accepted program than the AA 12 step program.  As is obvious from the podcast, it is working for the panelists.
    The deeper one delves into the root causes of addictions, the more one comes to understand why AA works for many.  It provides a support system and network of people that have experienced the same journey.  Being understood is key to healing.  It also establishes a system of accountability that really is successful for most addicts.  And one thing any honest addict will tell you is that the longer one is clean/sober, the easier it is to remain so, as the daily activities of their lives become re-established to function without chemicals/behaviors they previously had.
    One area that is helpful for struggling addicts to be aware of is how to channel the spirituality aspect of the program to the individual faith/belief system of the addict.  Atheists/agnostics/humanists often struggle with the typical approach of AA, as the term “higher power” is often used by the member to mean the typical Judeo-Christian “God.”  This offends and turns some away — especially in the early stages of recovery (the rebellious sorts that we are….).  I find that it is often helpful to provide another paradigm for these people that may or may not include AA.  I would be happy to explain further if anybody is interested.  For those that have a traditional Judeo-Christian/LDS faith, I think it best for them to follow the proven 12 step program….

  2. Very cool discussion. I have nothing really to add, having never been an addict, but I really appreciate the guests sharing their stories.

  3. I have to say that in the darkest hour of my faith crisis, where I luckily was only struggling with my beliefs and not an addiction, I looked at the 12 steps, and just got stuck on the 2nd step. I stewed for months on whether I believed in a higher power that cared enough for me to restore me to sanity. I couldn’t get past that second step. And I’m so glad I did work through it in my mind because I realized the God I believed in my whole life up until that time didn’t care for me. So the 12 step process made me throw out my beliefs that were unhealthy for me and redefine who God was for me. They can be so enlightening to everyone regardless of addictions.

    1. Thanks Brian. It was almost 20 years ago that I entered my first rehab for an addiction to pain meds after an injury. What I had found was that the meds were also killing the pain I was having due to my own faith crisis. I really struggled with the concept that the AA program was telling me — I had to use God to get clean…which was so confusing since it was “God” that I was having a problem with.

      It took a few years to really resolve that it was possible to clean up picturing a generic, ambiguous “higher power” that was very different than the inconsistent, jealous, JudeoChristian/Mormon God I had grown up with. It was only when I could do that that I finally got over the persistent need for pills to live life. It also helped to get to a place that I could live life for myself, not having to please others constantly or be a person I wasn’t any more. Living life authentically was the key to my sobriety.

  4. My
    comments will be brief as I have not yet listened to the podcast and are therefore
    probably ill informed. Please forgive my impetuosity. Having worked as a
    drug and alcohol counsellor for the past twelve-years I have seen the AA
    philosophy assist many individuals in their recovery but also have seen it as a
    destructive inhibiting tendency with certain individuals. There are many
    therapeutic approaches to assist those struggling with addiction such as CBT,
    logo therapy, NLP etc. which have long lasting benefits.

    Hope
    to contribute in a more thoughtful capacity after listening to the discussion.

  5. I think that is what I LIKE about AA. AA is not telling you how to recover. You are free to find your own way. No compulsion. If something else works, great. We were discussing topic in my family and one of my children is completing his PhD in psychology. He also stated that AA’s results may be less effective than some claim. I think that success in AA depends on one’s willingness and degree of surrender. 
    – “Keith”

    1. Well said, Keith.  No doubt one key to a successful AA program is the manner in which one surrenders his/her will over to a higher source.  True humility is the key.

      Where some struggle (I was one of these) is that the simple statement that there IS a separate, displaced “God” that is in charge and expects “us” to behave a certain way.  That “God” is what led me to using drugs.  For me — and I know this is different for each of us — it was when I could get past the separation of God and man, and view “Him” as a part of each of us…where I bacame no better or worse than any other part of the interconnected universe, that I could forgive myself and others for imperfections, and actually see each of us as perfect as we are.  For me, I see recovery as the process of getting to where we actually love ourselves as we are.  Self-worth, self concept, self love…all are necessary to let go of the need to be different thanour true nature.  IOW, addiction involves the need to take a substance to get to a different emotional place because we are not happy living in our own skin.  The cravings go away when we can look in the mirror and be happy with what we see.

      1. Sorry for the typos above! I want to add (in case this wasn’t understood) that I see the possible contradiction in this approach. The statement “I had to stop doing life my way and turn it over to, and do it God’s way” may seem counter-intuitive to my approach. I would get this feedback often in AA/recovery meetings. As I said before, I am perfectly fine with an approach to spirituality that works for the person. I do/did see many who need(ed) to have a separate “source” to turn their lives over to as it didn’t work to “do it on their own.” I think the concept of oneness of God and self actually works in the AA paradigm, however, as it places the person on an equal level to everybody else, instead of above or below others. Frankly, I think that is the core of the problem…the addict sees themselves as broken (even thought they see them as “unique” to others…) and often respond with anger and other fear-based behaviors. When they, in whatever means possible, get to a place of equality (which takes steps of forgiveness, gratitude and humility), they begin to get healthy, in my experience.

      2. I learned that if your “god” isn’t working, fire him or her and create a God of your understanding that can be effective. I realize that we learn about the true nature of God through the Spirit and scriptures, etc. but if it isn’t working, try a new concept and see if it will work. I remember one guy describing his God as one that gives infinite slack. That doesn’t sound like the God that can’t tolerate the least degree of sin. But then I considered the teaching of Christ about forgiving me 7 times 70.  What does that suggest to you?  

        1. Absolutely, Keith! Because we are each unique, it does help to have the flexibility to create an effective “higher power.” And because “we” are so focused on self-serving, self-pleasuring in our addictive stage, whatever works to get us to stop the behavior for enough time to get the brain cells working right again is good!

          I know that the “new thought” spirituality is viewed differently by many traditional Judeo-Christians/Mormons, but I have seen similar effective results from both. In “New thought,” where the universe is seen as one entity, we see things as perfect as they are. Nobody is broken, or wrong. Forgiveness is the process of accepting (forgiving) oneself for what they THOUGHT they did wrong. The behaviors that were hurtful to self and others were done in a state of disconnectness, or separation from Source. When we choose to tear down the walls of se[paration we have no reason to hurt each other because that is only hurting ourselves, and the cravings disappear.Perhaps a different angle than traditional AA, but as I have progressed in my recovery, I’ve found it to works for me and many others…and it really does not conflict with the spirit of AA, or the 12 steps. I love them both!

          Thanks for your great work and congrats on your recovery!

    2. Well said, Keith.  No doubt one key to a successful AA program is the manner in which one surrenders his/her will over to a higher source.  True humility is the key.

      Where some struggle (I was one of these) is that the simple statement that there IS a separate, displaced “God” that is in charge and expects “us” to behave a certain way.  That “God” is what led me to using drugs.  For me — and I know this is different for each of us — it was when I could get past the separation of God and man, and view “Him” as a part of each of us…where I bacame no better or worse than any other part of the interconnected universe, that I could forgive myself and others for imperfections, and actually see each of us as perfect as we are.  For me, I see recovery as the process of getting to where we actually love ourselves as we are.  Self-worth, self concept, self love…all are necessary to let go of the need to be different thanour true nature.  IOW, addiction involves the need to take a substance to get to a different emotional place because we are not happy living in our own skin.  The cravings go away when we can look in the mirror and be happy with what we see.

    3. Agreed….There’s not a right or wrong way to recover, its a matter of who’s left…..
      Loved the podcast!  You gentlemen put into words so many things I havent been able to all these years as I have been on my own recovery journey the last 14 years.  I think one of the key things I heard today that really resonated with me was being an addict, and a Mormon, in recovery, really does add and additional layer to the process…. At least for me.  the guilt and shame issues have almost killed me.  I was raised better.  I know better.  To reach outside myself to make inside feel better, let alone with alcohol and drugs….. Im worse than even the person that lives on the street shooting up because they dont know better etc etc etc etc

      Anyway, I also heard that because of my experience, i may actually be able to give back positively to the church, that that’s the Lords way….. Wow , what a concept.  I know in AA I feel there is no shame in recovery, but within the walls of our gospel and our culture……..I still absolutely slink around.  The judgement and ignorance that still exists out there cripples me at times.  Particularly because I am a recoverying meth addict who used to be a temple recommend holder, married in temple, college educated, accomplished children, one of the sickest kind because I looked good from the outside but was absolutely dying on the inside.

      Ive avoided church a lot because of the people, not because I dont believe.  I want to walk as free as I get to walk in the rooms of alcoholics anonymous.  The rooms of alcoholics anonymous with the principal around respecting all pathways, not necessarily accepting all pathways, but respecting them, has been an amazing gift given to me.  i wish our church members could embrace that concept. 

      One last concept Id like to comment on I wish the church would adopt more that AA does and that is attraction not promotion.  I love how you can see a newcomer come in, and how the light of Christ gets a hold of them and their lives change as they sober up and live the 12 steps and its miraculous.  You want what they have so you are attracted to that.  Its not someone coming to me pushing down my throat “come and live like me” when their example is something I wouldnt trade my life for, for anything.  I think missionary work could learn so much from the “Attraction not Promotion” principal….. ITS AWESOME!!!!! RECOVERY ROCKS!!!!

      “Lisa”

  6. One thing that I am confused about in the anonymity of such programs. I once thought of going into a 12 step program but when I learned of the anonymity aspect I quickly backed away; hiding my so-called problem was what I knew brought me the most pain. As soon as I didn’t hide my problem it went away. Thus, to me the anonymity aspect seems quite counterproductive. Can someone more knowledgeable than me explain why the anonymity?

    1. I can see your point, Bradley.  It;s true for many of us that keeping secrets is part of the addiction cycle, and in an ideal world, society would understand the true nature of the disease of addiction and have empathy and compassion for each addict.  Because it is not ideal, and particularly in the early stages of recovery the addict may just need a group to confide in and hear other’s stories of healing, the anonymity is key to getting to a safe place to share.  It’s also possible that one’s job, or family acceptance may be compromised if the substance abuse is known.But in another way, I also see the value of just letting go of the secrets.  I remember the pain I had when the media pasted my mug shot on TV one night…but the freedom I felt after that when I didn’t have to keep it to myself anymore.  But we have to let each person take their own course, I think.

  7. One thing that I am confused about in the anonymity of such programs. I once thought of going into a 12 step program but when I learned of the anonymity aspect I quickly backed away; hiding my so-called problem was what I knew brought me the most pain. As soon as I didn’t hide my problem it went away. Thus, to me the anonymity aspect seems quite counterproductive. Can someone more knowledgeable than me explain why the anonymity?

    1. I can see your point, Bradley. It’s true for many of us that keeping secrets is part of the addiction cycle, and in an ideal world, society would understand the true nature of the disease of addiction and have empathy and compassion for each addict. Because it is not ideal, and particularly in the early stages of recovery the addict may just need a group to confide in and hear other’s stories of healing, the anonymity is key to getting to a safe place to share. It’s also possible that one’s job, or family acceptance may be compromised if the substance abuse is known.But in another way, I also see the value of just letting go of the secrets. I remember the pain I had when the media pasted my mug shot on TV one night…but the freedom I felt after that when I didn’t have to keep it to myself anymore. But we have to let each person take their own course, I think.

  8. What a great podcast.  I’m only halfway through it but it is so powerful and humbling to hear these men talk about submitting to a higher power to overcome addictions.  This is where I find my dilemma with the church. I don’t think the church encourages us to give ourselves over to God.  The church has a prescribed path to God, the Great Plan of Happiness, that  we are to follow if we want to approach God.  I feel like this plan limits my spiritual progress in that I can’t just let God show me the way.  I am expected to follow the advice and counsel of the Brethren and the programs in the church.  This is where I am now in my spiritual journey.  I am active in the church and have a temple recommend but I feel like my relationship with God has reached it’s peak within the church context.  I think that for me to really develop spiritually I will need to go outside the church, maybe to a religion that is less paint-by-number, to one that encourages submission to God’s grace and places less emphasis on submission to church leaders.  For now I just practice this alternate religion in my heart. : )

    Also , I’d like to recommend a couple of really good books by addicts who have recovered by submitting to God. One was Eric Clapton’s autobiography where he writes about a very profound spiritual experience he had in rehab that finally fell to his knees and pleaded with God to help him to overcome his addictions.  The other book is “Lit” by Mary Karr where she writes about her time as an alcoholic and her recovery through AA and her conversion to Catholicism.

    Once again, thanks to “Keith, Bill and John” for sharing your stories.  And thanks to Dan for putting this podcast together. 

  9. I just wanted to encourage listeners to check out the website pasgworks.com.  It’s a beautiful blend of AA and ARP and a glimpse into the future as Latter-day Saints who suffer from addiction put the AA principles into practice in their lives and recover.

  10. Hooray for this podcast.  I am a spouse of someone in recovery and the 12 steps have been a tremendous blessing in our lives.  My spouse works the steps in a national group not affiliated with the LDS church and I have worked the steps as a co-addict in the Church’s ARP program.  I could say so much about both of our experiences and thank you for getting this panel together.

  11. Just want to add my thanks to Dan and the panelists for putting this together.   I also owe a debt to the LDS program, as it was the first meeting I was ever taken to and the place where I first found sobriety.  Although I am no longer active in the church’s program, I am glad to hear that there are individuals willing to open up a dialogue between the LDS and other 12-step programs.  I think it is needed.

    Thanks too to Rick to for your comments. They really resonate with me.  Although I am still active in AA, I often feel that I live on the edges as an agnostic.  While the program (and certainly the Big Book) advocate for a personal conception of a “higher power,” the language used in meetings and between addicts typically assumes many of the traditional characteristics of the Judeo-Christian God.  This often leaves me feeling alone in “the rooms.”  That said, I find that when I define my spirituality by my level of love and interconnectedness with others, I am able to stay sober and live happily in and out of AA.

    Thanks again to all for an awesome episode!

  12. I really don’t know what to say about this podcast but I have so many different feelings about it. There must be a tremendous emotional reward for men who are able to move openly to that vulnerable place where they can surrender to their failings. This is something I think that Mormonism rarely offers to its adherents–especially those with a Y-chromosome. This is the place where grace is soothing and not just an excuse for the less determined.

  13. Groundbreaking Conversation.

    This could be a seperate blog/podcast entirely and hope that it is someday.

    One insight I’d like to elaborated further on was the comment that
    “The 12 steps require all of your spiritual attention”  and also that “the LDS church pretty much requires all of your attention as well.”

    Somewhere along my journey.. I was taught you go to church with a notepad, you listen to the speaker/spirit and then ‘recommit’ to go out there again just a little bit harder and try to ‘incorporate’ the things you learn into your daily life.

    In my world, with so many demands for my time/attention… I feel like I not only deal with the world’s distractions.. but also struggle with my ‘spiritual inbox’.  LDS culture seems like a conveyer belt full of new offers to improve my life… (church talks, family home evenings lessons, Institute, scripture study, home teaching messages, general conference. ensign magazines all present new ideas to integrate into my spiritual operating system…    (6 B’s, 13 articles of faith, 5 petals of Forget-me-not flower, etc.. etc.. etc.. etc.. )

    Perhaps my attempts to manage all the gospel insights is what has led me to the point I am at now.  Perhaps I have given the LDS church TOOO much attention… and need to focus on hobbies, going on walks, eating right.. and turn down the volume on do more/be more channel.  

    I see hope from this podcast in changing in the AA way. (i tried PASG, but all the groups I’ve been in are like 9th grade seminary) I NEED to go to some type of group (maybe SA).  More than anything i feel like I just want to be a part of a loving community who can handle humanity.

    I hope we are entering a new ‘institutional’ stage of faith. A stage in which the non-addicts (ahem) of the church who may (in the future) encounter crisises that require the industrial strength/GRACE that LDS addicts have found through AA, SA, He did deliver me, Book of Mormon, and listening/following Spiritual promptings.

    P.S. –   If anyone feels like they are not an addict.. go 1 week without sugar of any kind. Welcome to the club!

  14. Thank you all who participated in this wonderful podcast.  I will be linking to it on my blog and referring it to my clients. 

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